Fear

my heart was pounding.

my palms- sweaty.

i was beginning to feel a little nauseated.

i could hear a slight pounding in my ears.

watching my baby boy

walk up the stage stairs

scared

nervous.

you see he wanted to try out

for the

Velveteen Rabbit.

he actually changed his mind

a couple of times because he was so nervous.

that nervousness i truly understand.

i didn't try out for the

Sugar Plam Fairy

when i was in

The Nutcracker

because i was too scared.

i never tried out for the high school

basketball team because i was too scared.

i was too fearful of writing a thesis

to go for my masters.

i know that feeling like my son.

but i want my son to know the feeling of

courage.

triumph.

pride.

and so i encouraged him

and we said a little prayer

and he walked up the stairs to

the stage.

the stage that was ENORMOUS

that was inside an auditorium

that was GINORMOUS

and he sang a song.

granted you could barely hear him

but i didn't matter

(i mean he's guaranteed a part)

because he was

brave.

and proud.

and happy.

I'm so proud of you Tuck!